We ran into Det. Parker at the gun range. He’s trying out a new .45 that shoots silver bullets. “We just got a werewolf on the force and I’m not saying I have trust issues, I just want to be prepared in case he goes rogue on the full moon,” Det. Parker says as he slams the magazine into place.
We should note that Det. Parker is a very good shot. He likes to hum Stevie Wonder songs while he’s shooting.
It’s weird yet charming.
Questions for Det. Parker
Do you like to garden?
Do fish love to swim? Do bees love to buzz? Do crocodiles love to smile? Wait… what was the question?
How many people have you had to wing to slow them down?
I don’t run fast so I would say more than I haven’t.
What’s your favorite flower?
The one on my hat (he likes to target practice wearing his favorite panama). I don’t know what it is called, but I think it is a peonie.
What’s the best way to stop a vampire from biting you?
Invite them to a Christmas party.
Do you believe in aliens?
Yes. There is a pathway to citizenship in the this country and those that don’t take it, should try harder to follow the rules.
What did you have for breakfast this morning?
A balanced breakfast of Reeses Puffs, buttered toast, black coffee and a pop tart. You should always start your day with a healthy balanced breakfast. Balance.
How high can you jump?
I have a vertical that tops 3 inches. I didn’t play basketball.
Do zombies make you sneeze?
No… is that a thing? Well now I’m worried.
Where’s a good place to buy socks in Los Angeles?
There’s this little place downtown in the jewelry district called “Arts Spatula and Sock Emporium.” They have the best socks at the best prices in a variety of colors. In between Vladovichs’ Jewelry Shack and Ahabs’ Whale of a Deal Jewelry, turn right down the alley and at the end, go in the 2nd door on the left… make SURE it’s the 2nd door.
“Arts: Where we’ve mastered the ART of socks and spatulas.”
And with that, Det. Parker nails the paper target of a rapid werewolf in the heart while softly humming Superstition.